How Stress Can Strain the Relationship
Stress is one of the biggest relationship problems of our time. Often stress arises outside the relationship, but it is responsible for problems in the partnership. Many couples are not aware of this. If the stress is not overcome, the problems in the relationship cannot be solved.
- personal negative assessment of a situation
- the feeling of not being able to deal with a situation adequately
- own expectations and standards (e.g. "Everyone has to love me and like me")
- critical life events (illness, death, accidents, loss, etc.)
- developmental tasks (puberty, menopause, aging, profession, children, partnership, etc.)
- daily adversity (small, often insignificant events that make life difficult)
What are the reasons for stress?
Money worries, trouble with colleagues, children's school problems, life-threatening illnesses, parents in need of care or just the traffic jam on the way home after a long day at work - all this can trigger stress and arguments. The most negative effect is not so much the thick "chunks" on the relationship, but the pitfalls of everyday life. They wear down and damage the partnership. But even difficult events challenge couples enormously. Only here does it become clear how stable the relationship is and how each individual as well as the couple deals with stress together. Often it is not possible to solve problems and cope with stress. Especially when both partners come under pressure. Lack of time, overtime and overload lead to dissatisfaction. The feeling of neglect is growing. The thought germinates of not caring about the other and no longer playing a role in his life. In case of stress, we want support and recognition of the problems. But that's exactly what is missing when the other is in the same situation. We find no compassion and lack of understanding spoils our mood. Stressed couples are more dissatisfied in their relationship than couples with little stress. Those who can handle stress well are also well prepared.
How can stress be managed individually and together?
Stress easily creeps into a partnership and has a permanent effect on the relationship. Couples often notice very late that everyday life affects the mood because of the multiple stresses. The sense of togetherness weakens and communication between the partners suffers from the stress. The conversations become superficial. In good relationships, couples strengthen each other's backs. In bad ones, they blame their partner for problems. The necessary protection and support can be provided by couple counseling. It helps to develop a clear view of reality again when it comes to the following questions.
- How can I avoid stress?
- Can parents or friends help absorb stress?
- Do I support and reassure my partner enough? Do I understand their situation?
- Can I offer a solution?
Stress cannot always be avoided. But it can be significantly reduced with a little help. It is important that partners do not only evaluate their own situation. You also need to understand the other. Together they can create small islands of peace and regeneration. It also makes sense to have a clear temporal demarcation for work, family and partnership. If the negative effects of stress on the partnership are repeated, couples counseling shows avoidance strategies and possible behavioral changes. With professional help, you can learn to deal better with mental and social stress (personal assessment of a situation, expectations, etc.). In addition, it is also about improving one's own perception and recognizing stress in the partner earlier.
