The gap between desire and reality – sexuality
At the beginning of every relationship is physical attraction. But the longer the love lasts, the rarer the encounters become. Physical closeness is an important part of an intact relationship. At the same time, however, often the cause of many conflicts.
Sexuality creates a wonderful physical connection. Especially in the beginning, a relationship is based on physical attraction, an intimate community is built. It's essentially about having fun together and exploring each other. The partners build closeness and discover mutual preferences. Tenderness strengthens the sense of togetherness, gives security and trust. Couples who are freshly in love have more desire for each other. The hormones play crazy, the butterflies organize a continuous dance in the stomach. Playfully you get by with little sleep and can hardly breathe without the other.
Lull in bed - what now?
The moments of togetherness and sexuality become rare in a long-term relationship. Everyday life creeps in. Familiarity increases, passion decreases. Sex is Tuesday and Saturday, and then only briefly. In this way, passion becomes fulfillment of duty.
In fact, however, the cause of sexual aversion does not lie in the lack of physical attraction. Rather, it is, among other things, the decreasing ability of clear communication. In addition, the partners need the energies elsewhere in different phases of a partnership – stress at work, financial worries, parenthood, etc. For touch, tenderness, sex, the energy is often no longer enough.
Everyday life has gained the upper hand and many couples only have time and energy for the "fast number". The fulfilling lovemaking falls by the wayside. Stress, expectations and blockages build up, mutual mistrust arises. Does he still find me attractive? Why doesn't she feel like it anymore? You encounter rejection, you are hurt and you really want your partner to recognize your own expectations.
Back to a fulfilling sex-life
Formulating sexual desires is difficult. This is due to the high discrepancy between aspiration and reality. It is equally difficult to break old patterns. This creates insurmountable hurdles. In sexual satisfaction, one's own self-esteem also plays an important role. Especially during sex, no partner should flee from problems, but address and solve them in the relationship.
But how can sexual attraction be revived? To do this, both partners first need a lot of tolerance and initiative. Courage and honesty are also necessary to break new ground together.
Couple counseling helps to make the love life fulfilling again. Sexuality can be relearned and shaped at every stage of life. We support you in rediscovering your sexual desire and awaken your joy for intense moments for two.
