Why does the passion go out
The bonded feeling of couples is initially strong. However, over time, it can become more fragile. Everyday stress, children, little togetherness – with all this, the intense feeling fades. More and more couples get lost in the routine of everyday life. The bond becomes weaker. Although passion and sexuality in the relationship take a back seat and are still enormously important.
Even if the desire for physical closeness in everyday relationship life often remains unfulfilled, the desire for it is great. The longing for variety outside the partnership increases. There are unplanned flirts, everything seems easier and more pleasurable with another person.
When do we start talking about cheating?
Many people succumb to this temptation and cheat on their partner. Usually, the discussion of what cheating is then begins. Opinions differ widely.
For many women, it is enough for the man to flirt with another woman.
Men don't think so, after all, they don't have sex with another woman. Nevertheless, it is clear that betrayal begins where trust is abused.
Cheating – an easy game today
- In the Internet age, new contacts can be made quickly virtually and "variety" can be found much easier than before.
- Our consumer society "helps" with this. We get what is missing.
- In everyday stress, we escape a problematic relationship by orienting ourselves outwards.
- Honesty takes courage. But man or woman can often not address stressful things.
My partner cheated on me! Which questions concern me:
- Why did this happen?
- Am I no longer satisfactory? What does the other person have that I don't?
- What should I do: leave or stay?
- Can I ever trust my partner again?
- Should I accept what happened?
- Should and can I forgive?
- What comes after the end of the relationship? Will I find a partner again? Can I trust again?
- How do I make my partner understand what this deceit triggers in me?
After a breach of trust, we find ourselves in a chaos of annoyance, anger, self-doubt, shame and uncertainty. Emotionally, the cheating of the partner is a test for every partnership. Hardly anyone can then simply carry on as if nothing had happened. In most cases, understanding and reappraisal are necessary. With the aim of developing a new understanding of relationships together.
How to learn to be honest and to forgive
Couple counseling takes a constructive approach to these questions and gets to the bottom of the causes. These are usually precursor of cheating. Only if both partners deal with it, they can start anew. Instead of disappointment, anger and hurt, understanding is needed for both – for the betrayed as well as for the cheater. Joint processing can lead to new solutions for a different understanding of relationships.
Infidelity can also be an opportunity for a new beginning. Because an affair usually has nothing to do with the search for another partner. It often arises because we are dissatisfied with the relationship. Sometimes the orientation to the outside happens unconsciously, distracts from the stressful topics. In couples counseling, we bring that certain something back into everyday life in the partnership and thus revive it.
