Before a separation becomes inevitable
Couples in conflict situations can come to the crucial question despite all efforts: Separation – yes or no? Such a step is often announced long before and is a creeping process. Anyone who goes through life with open eyes, ears and heart recognizes negative "trends" in time and can stop them. A final separation should only take place if both sides have tried everything and really tried to save the relationship. Because there is no more efficient and effective personality development than in a relationship. Although singles are also working on their development, they have no counterpart. Only this changes one's own personality in such a way that the change is reflected in the relationship and benefits the partner. In a relationship, you learn new things and implement them immediately. You learn from your mistakes and try things out. You can find ways to solve problems in the relationship.
Work on yourself
Bestselling author Eva Zurhorst writes in her book "Love yourself and it doesn't matter who you marry." It's about what we can do about a breakup. The positive message is that we can start right away. We improve every relationship if we let the partner be and don't want to change them. Rather, we should work on ourselves. This personal change also causes a change in the relationship.
And if you have unsuccessfully tried everything possible to save your relationship, do not immediately commit yourself to another person. Otherwise, you start a new relationship without learning from the previous one. Sooner or later, this leads to difficulties again. The decision to separate is difficult for both partners. But once it has fallen, the consequences quickly become clear.
Is it possible to separate in peace?
An amicable separation with the decision is borne equally by both partners. However, this is rather rare. Often one partner has been dealing with the separation for much longer, while the other is often hit unprepared and surprisingly. Being abandoned is usually harder than walking. There is hardly any consolation against the pain. Nevertheless, both have to deal with the new situation and challenge. There are some points that help to structure a separation:
- Be conscious about this: No time is right for a separation.
- Talk directly and personally with the partner in a private, quiet environment.
- Communicate clearly and do not raise unjustified hopes.
- You had time for your decision, give your partner space to overcome the shock.
- Give yourself and your partner time for a fresh start.
Emotionally, a separation is a great burden for both partners. Seek help in a couples counseling. This helps to work on the farewell to the previous life and to look into the future. Couples counseling facilitates orientation in this situation and steers the separation in a fair way.
