Can we live out sexual fantasies in the partnership?
Talking openly about one's own sexual desires and fantasies is unfortunately still taboo for many couples. This can be an important key to a functioning sexuality. Sexual fantasies do not necessarily have to have anything to do with sex. Even a lightly dressed woman can already inspire the imagination. Arousal first takes place in the brain. That's where we decide what appeals to us. This is where the desire arises to turn the fantasies into reality. But that doesn't have to be the case. Sometimes the head cinema is enough. However, many do not share it with the partner.
Women and men have different dreams. They live out what they do not dare to do in real life or are denied to them. That's why few couples talk openly about their sexual desires and fantasies. They are afraid. What will the partner think of this? In what light does he see me if I communicate openly and honestly?
Sexual fantasies against stress
People can maintain a lively and wild sex life in their head. The fantasies help stress, sometimes also to reduce aggression. With them you can escape from everyday life quite well. The cortisol level (stress hormone) decreases and the dopamine level (happiness hormone) increases. The body immediately relaxes by having reality pause for a moment. In sexual fantasies, one can courageously try out new practices. However, feelings of shame ensure that many people cannot honestly express these wishes to their partner. This mind cinema is an expression of our striving for specific sexual contact. It allows us to experience experiences that do not actually need to be experienced.
Not every partner is open to each other's sexual desires and needs. However, they cannot be left unspoken. This harms the relationship. It is important to approach this topic sensitively. By the way, even small ideas can stimulate sexuality in the relationship. Who doesn't want to be tied to the bed by their partner and let themselves be pampered? Not even handcuffs are necessary. A scarf is less wicked and the soft material stimulates the skin. So you can open up to your partner with small steps and carefully integrate sexual fantasies into the partnership.
Do we all want the same thing?
Actually actively integrating sexual fantasies into the partnership requires a lot of openness and willingness to compromise from both. Men tick differently than women, that's no secret. They react much more strongly to optical stimuli. Light clothing is enough for this.
A woman is more likely to need a story that stimulates sexual imagination. Couples counseling helps to find a common language on this topic. It can be a means of determining the right communication and approach. In this way, both partners build trust with each other and create an environment in which sexual desires have their place.
