The eternal struggle with feelings – it's never enough
Emotions accompany us throughout our lives, but nowhere are they as intense as in a partnership. A long-term relationship is a hodgepodge of feelings. Infatuation, desire, contentment, happiness, despair, anger, fear – everything belongs to a partnership. Too many or too deep emotions make us insecure, they make us doubt. Is that love? Are we happy?
Feelings are not only the spice of life, they are an essential part of our soul life. They also form the basis for the evaluation of our environment and our own personality. Of course, this also means that we constantly assess our partner.
Emotions are the result of hidden feelings
Emotions are feelings that we have accumulated in the past and not expressed, mastered and thus accumulated. With the partner, they can be recognized faster and better than with oneself.
When emotions are held back, small triggers can cause disproportionate reactions. This always has to do with situations of the past that have not been overcome. Unfortunately, this is often not recognized in relationships. Rather, the partner is usually to blame for his own feelings. It is not the cause at all.
How do emotions affect us?
If we don't talk about feelings the moment they arise, tension remains. It ferments in us. No wonder that this built up tension quickly discharges in an irritated mood. We overreact and hurt the partner. The result: Love is slowly fading.
Typical are the constant nagging, whining, quarrels over trifles, constant dissent, easy irritability and vulnerability.
Feelings out of bounds – how do we control them?
The good news is that you don't need anyone to transform emotions. Everyone can and must do this for themselves. The relationship is no longer a disaster if you take responsibility for your feelings. With this you show maturity! If emotions remain unrecognized, we automatically project our inner pain and conflicts involuntarily onto our partner.
It depends on how we regulate feelings and what influence you can have on your partner's emotions. If you withdraw, a wall often arises. But if you break through this wall, you can gradually reopen yourself and your partner emotionally. All feelings, even the negative ones, are important. They deepen every relationship and help us to develop further An essential part of couples counseling is to learn to develop and express positive feelings as well as to process negative ones.
In couple counseling you will learn to recognize your emotions in time and not to blame your partner for your own feelings. They analyze the causes and can take appropriate countermeasures. All this is possible without the partner. You have it in your own hands and can start today. After all, you know best what you think and how you act.
